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Beta Babe
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Joined: 07 Oct 2015
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re: I Will Carry You

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Some of you know my brother passed away this Summer. At some point ALL of US face pain, sorrow, grief. I know others of you have also had loses recently in your families.

My heart, and my love goes out to you. While I live my life as upbeat as I can sometimes emotions overwhelm. The pain is too much and the darkness too deep. I find that when I am in such a place - writing helps me transcend and find the light again.

That is the purpose of this submission. I hope if you are going through something similiar that you find some comfort in reading this. To know you are not alone - it is ok to hurt - to feel loss - to regret.

It is at moments like this we are most human and our capacity for love is at its greatest. Take a moment, listen to the wind, look to the sky, feel the sun, and remember through love and rememberance they are immortal - evergreen in your heart.

Thank you for reading this poem I wrote - it brought me through a very dark time.

Love,

Beta

Please bear with me while I try to get the last three images loaded. They are personal photos not on a website - I do not know how to do this yet. The Marine Photo below IS MY BROTHER.



I Will Carry You

To my dearest dearest brother do you mind if I cry a while?
I know this may upset you as your used to seeing me smile.

Like when you first looked upon me - the day they brought me home- and declared to all around you - this is my brother - my kin - my own.


(Picture One Here) Baby Beta held by Brother



Your love always surrounded me - stronger than any shield. I grew by your example to try harder, value truth, never yield.

You didn't forget about me - though that may have been cool to do - like most of the older brothers who have might have better things than you.

(Picture Two) Young Beta on Brothers Shoulders in Northern MN


Instead your were my mentor, my protector, and my friend - you always had time to play with me - on adventures without end.

And when you went away to serve - like our father had before - I took such pride in my Christmas Gift and the uniforms we bore.

(Picture 3) Beta, Marine Brother , Army Dad in Uniform



You followed my many exploits, my accomplishments, and my woes. You always wanted me to be myself and be certain of what I chose.

We chuckled when I went Army as Marine Corps was your way - but our bond was never stronger than it was and is this day.

We shared our grief together as in uniform once more - we carried out our father to be honored, loved, and mourned.


You were the Bestman at my wedding and shared in my pride and joy.


Forum Image

As my family grew - I always knew you loved my special boys.

You never asked for anything - just me and who I am.

Our love , our bond was simple, and stronger than any man.

So I cannot help but hurt right now or ignore this painful wound.
I want to draw lines of battle, win the day, change the mood.

Forum Image


But that is not going to happen - for God has taken you home.
I have my duties to perform for those who feel alone.

Then I must speak on your behalf - don't worry - I'll do my best.
I will remind them of who you were before your laid to rest.


Forum Image

In pain and honor measured my words do comfort bring
to those who dearly loved you before we gently sing.

It is with honor, love, and humility I rise to carry you.
I thank the Lord for my loving sons who share the burden to.

In silence born we soldier on advancing two by two.
Leading our solumn procession to your hill with the gentle view.

I am bringing you to our Mother who is happy to see you again. I feel the presence of our Father as I find my place and then...

Your daughter reaches for me - her pain - her grief so real
As the Ministers words flow forward I comfort her with zeal.

"Your Father truly Loves you and you honor him this day"
was the best that I could utter as the wind did make flags sway.

One final salute I presented to you as the first volley pierced my soul.
Though Artillery never shook me once - I flinched and began to roll.

Forward a step...I caught myself...and assumed the position once more.
Oh God I love you brother...can't you stay just a few minutes more?

Make them play taps longer and the volleys go on and on.
For once the flag is presented I know it is all done.

Forum Image


"On behalf of the President of the United States, the United States Marine Corps, and a grateful nation, please accept this flag as a symbol of our appreciation for your loved one's honorable and faithful service."

I look into my nieces eyes as she proudly accepts her father's flag along with three shells (One for each volley) gentley placed on top it.

Slowly she turns to me taking one of the shells and places it in my hand.

"Here. This is for you. You carried my father today and honored his memory - now carry him in your heart."

In that moment..all rythmes did not matter
or poetry release more comfort than I found right then
in my thoughtful beautiful niece.

And so it is dear brother that I can smile at you once more.
And better yet look forward to what the future has in store.

My pain will never go away - just like Mom and Dad.
But my sorrow blinded me to the treasures that I had.

The memories made with you and I of love that brothers share.
No one can take that from us - no one would ever dare.

So it is with the greatest Love I make you immortal this day
for in my heart I will carry you everywhere in every way.



As Retired Army Artilleryman (I render my brother a Full Honors Military Salute)



Last edited by Beta Babe on Tue Nov 13, 2018 2:11 am; edited 5 times in total


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re: I Will Carry You

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Wow.
I didn't know Beta, as this must have been while I was off from the game.
I am so sorry for your loss.


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Beta Babe
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Thanks Dodge - I did not really say much to anyone - thanks for your condolences.


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Alyssa Goldenblade
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I didn't know either, but I could feel something wasn't right. Sorry for your loss.


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re: I Will Carry You

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I'm really sorry for you loss Beta :-(
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